Happily, we’re no longer in a society where it’s okay to club your wife over the head and drag her back to your cave but have we gone too far in the opposite direction? Consider it, as females, we’ve always had that nagging little voice in the back of head that says, “don’t swear it’s not ladylike,” or “if you speak like that men will think you’re easy.” However now we have men too afraid to say anything remotely politically incorrect, even in the bedroom.
All this politically correctness makes it difficult to talk dirty. “I’d love to touch your ladyparts, if you’re okay with that.” Uhm, no, not sexy.
So make a rule with your partner that it’s okay to be a little blue in the bedroom. Despite giving him permission, you may have to help him a bit by starting first. Remember, a lot of guys have been so caught up in “never say x, y, or z,” that it may take a little bit of effort to shake them loose.
An easy way to start? Share your fantasies. Obviously this isn’t something that you do over dinner, this is pillow talk. So turn off the lights, get comfortable, and bravely put yourself out there.
Take it out of the bedroom – send him a spicy text message (on his private account, not his work account) or whisper a little something in his ear on the walk into the restaurant. No, your life shouldn’t revolve around your sex life but your sex life shouldn’t revolve around your life.
Now, the caveats: Give him a list of words that should never ever pass his lips under any circumstances. Don’t involve others (colleagues, waiters, passers-by), keep it private. Make it fun – working on your sex life should feel like anything but work.