Resiliency is often known as the ability to recover from a tragedy. I’m afraid that we aren’t making a lot of resilient people any longer. It used to be that failure was part of our DNA, we just hadn’t figured out how to succeed yet. Increasingly though, then people fall down, they break because they haven’t been taught how to rebound.
You really don’t want to be involved with someone who can’t bounce back. If a setback of any sort is going to destroy them or send them into a deep funk for weeks, months, or years – this isn’t going to be a satisfying life for you. You’re going to expend all of your energy attempting to prop them up. This is going to get tiresome after a time and you’ll grow to resent their inability to be “stretchy”. If you find that someone isn’t resilient, don’t pick them to be your partner.
You, on the other hand, need to be resilient as well. When you take a beating (figuratively, not literally), you need to be able to spring back into shape. Your parents did you no favors if they shielded you from failure. If you didn’t learn resilience as a child, here’s how to develop it:
- Realize that this set-back, no matter how painful, is not the end of the world.
- Figure out what went wrong, including what was and wasn’t within your ability to control.
- Make a plan to improve what was within your control and then execute it.
- Try again.
Believe it or not, it really is just that simple. Some times ya just gotta bounce.