Children and consensus

Like with most things, it’s better to get consensus before the start of a project than after.  This is especially true in the case of children.  Discuss every possible contingency to make sure that you’re on the same page.

Topics for discussion?  So glad you asked:

• Responsibilities:  What is the child responsible for at each stage of life?  How do you instill a sense of responsibility?
• Discipline:  Is discipline a shared responsibility?  What methods do you find acceptable/unacceptable?  Are you willing to use a third-party to assist with discipline?
• Education:  How will you handle the price of education?  extra-curricular activities?  Is the child allowed to get a part-time job while at school?
• Fitness:  How do you handle a child with too much/not enough emphasis on fitness or sports?  How involved will you be?
• Nutrition:  How far do you allow picky eating to go before intervening?  How do you handle a child who decides to be a vegetarian?  Do you discourage a child from dieting?
• Religion:  Are you raising a religious child?  Which religion will you choose?  How often will you attend services?

Obviously there is more to discuss than just these questions however having an understanding about the nuts and bolts of how you will raise your child is important before embarking on this endeavor.

Crucial questions – religion

Most of us tend not to wear our religion on our sleeve and from a young age, we’re discouraged from talking about it in polite society.  Consequently, we tend to not to know how to make inquiries about it.  We prefer to tell ourselves that love will conquer all but make no mistake, for many people their religion is as ingrained in them as their culture and they have not seriously considered the negotiations required to commit to someone of another belief system.

When the moment comes, don’t get shy.  It’s better to know what you’re getting yourself into rather than being shocked at a later time.

1. What, if any, is your belief system?
2. How does your belief system affect your life?
3. How active are you in your faith?  Would you want to be more or less active?
4. Is it important to marry someone of your belief system?
5. Do you want a religious marriage ceremony?
6. In what belief system should children be raised?
7. What does your belief system say about medical intervention/euthanasia?
8. Do you donate money to your belief system?  If so, how much and how often?
9. Does your belief system have any restrictions?