How to booty call a guy

If you have read my previous blogs on booty calls, then you’re well aware of my thoughts on them.  However, “how to booty call a guy” seems to be a key search term to find my blog so I might as well answer it.

In general, I’m against booty calls and I advocate taking a lover if you really aren’t looking for a relationship, you just want your itch scratched.  However, as a modern woman, I do realize that sometimes that itch does get quite, er, persistent.  So it’s best to have a game plan.

  1. Choose your target wisely.  You don’t want this to be a good friend (very very messy) or a guy you’d want a relationship with (you can’t change the dynamic once it’s established).  Obviously there needs to be some attraction but also a degree of safety, both in terms of health and security.  Remember, most guys will tell you what you want to hear rather than the cold, hard truth.
  2. Get his phone number.  You could email him but then you’ll spend a tense few hours waiting for him to respond while your head goes through any number of ludicrous theories as to why he hasn’t written back.  Oh, and most guys aren’t going to find it quite as creepy as girls do if you just happen to get their phone number from a friend, their social media page, or even a directory.
  3. Pick your time.  Are you scheduling your booty call?  It risks sounding like a date.  Are you dialing at midnight?  You risk him not being available.  Try to figure out what type of guy he is before determining when to approach it.  If you’re looking for an easy A, I recommend that you go for the studious type over the stud type, at least the first time out.
  4. Decide what you’re going to say.  This is not the time to stumble about verbally.  You want to be suave, not sweating.  Keep it short and direct without being vulgar.  If words fail you, you an always use the international code for booty call.  Ask the question, then wait for a response.  Do not fill in the silence with mindless prattle or your top ten list of why he should say yes.  He might be in shock, give him a chance to process it and formulate a response.
  5. If he rejects you, put on your big girl panties and suck it up.  For whatever reason, he’s not the guy.  Delete his number and move on.
  6. If he accepts (and it is shockingly easy to get a guy into bed – go figure), then you should have everything prepared ahead of time.  Have a good exit strategy and keep it vague (I have to work in the morning is pretty universal for you gotta go).  If you’re kind enough to let him stay overnight, I had a friend who used to prepare his booty calls breakfast, deliver it to them in bed, then tell them that their taxi would be there in about 30 minutes, prepaid of course.  What a gentleman!
  7. Afterward – do not be a clingy girl!  You slept with him.  He’s not your boyfriend.  He may or may not cuddle.  Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t call (in fact, keep the ball in your court – booty call him, do not allow him to booty call you!).  Instead, plan a girls night out to celebrate and share most, but not all, of the details…of how you did it.  Gosh, I would never instruct you to kiss and tell!

Getting comfortable with confrontation

Women grow up with lots of social rules (some good, some bad) and one of our biggest is to back-peddle at the first sign of confrontation.  Confrontation has been placed in our heads as the big scary monster but honestly, we don’t need to fear confrontation, we need to learn how to manage it.  Think of confrontation as your friend – without it, nothing will change.

The first rule to being comfortable with confrontation is to have it on  your own terms.  Pick the time and place to your greatest advantage.  The second rule is to do your homework.  Never approach a confrontation without knowing your position, your opponent’s position, and having thought through the various potential twists.  The last rule is to keep your cool.  The moment you lose your composure, you lose the confrontation.  Do not get angry or emotional – let your rational words and preparation take center stage and you can’t lose.