Omg, I’m turning into my mother!

At some point in your life, words will fly out of your mouth and you will come to the conclusion that you’re turning into your mother.  Even if you love your mother dearly, this isn’t something that you’re looking forward to.

The good news is, you’ve recognized what is happening so you can start to shape it before it shapes you.  Take a good, long look at your mother and how she has influenced your life both for the good and the bad (you may not be perfect, mom, but we love you).  Decide what you would like to keep and what you would like to pass you by. Start cultivating the good parts and correcting the bad – this will require actual work on your part!

Everyone is defined by their experiences but we are not held hostage by them.  You have the power to determine your future.

I love me, I really really love me

The narcissist is a man who is in love with himself.  It’s easy to spot the obvious narcissist (like a sociopath) but it can be more difficult to the more subtle narcissist, as it can masquerade an overly-healthy sense of self.  There is also the problem of not wanting to unfairly label someone, so we sometimes hide from the truth.

So what should you look for?  The classic sign is an inflated sense of self.  Arrogance and entitlement are fairly apparent in one’s personality.  It can be harder to discern a lack of empathy (watch for how they react to the pain/misfortune of others) or a fragile self-esteem (do they over-react to criticism).

A lot of successful men are somewhat narcissistic, (which is why so many of them are surprised when they’re caught doing foolish things, they thought they were too smart to get caught).  Narcissists can be quite charming and their belief in themselves can be quite seductive.  If you get ensnared in their web, it can take a while to see the truth.

So perhaps being involved with a narcissist is not so black and white.  While the easy advice would be that you should run immediately, perhaps the better advice is to tell you to determine how much of a narcissist he is and to ask yourself if can you live with that?  Is the upside worth the downside?