Uncomplicated is one of those words that makes me cringe when I hear it dripping off a guy’s lips.  He’s intending it as a compliment but it really isn’t and I’ll tell you why….If your relationship is uncomplicated, then one of you isn’t being authentic and most likely, it’s you.

You know what a synonym for uncomplicated is?  Easy.  I’m not saying that your job in a relationship is to make his life difficult but you can be too accommodating, too understanding, too afraid to rock the boat.  Sure you want to put your best foot forward but make sure you’re being your true self.  Don’t create an image of yourself for him to fall in love with because it’s unsustainable.  Don’t be so intent on winning the guy that you lose yourself.

Some guys (not all guys – there are good guys out there) will use this word as a behavior modifier.  It’s a bit of a veiled threat – keep the relationship simple and the relationship continues; make the relationship complicated and the relationship ends.  It’s manipulation.  If you’re involved with one of these guys – run and don’t look back!

So if you’re with a guy who suddenly comes up with this little gem – ask him what it means and listen to his response with your brain, not your heart…because a guy who wants an undemanding relationship doesn’t want all the marvelous complications that real life holds.


Direct from my desk – week 38

With any purchase, large or small, it’s tempting to keep up with the Joneses.  Do not fall into this trap!

You may find that you have one or more persons in your life that will be less-than-supportive about your purchases.  Your phone isn’t the newest model, your car isn’t big enough, your house is in the wrong neighborhood.  Pay no attention to them.  Invariably their disdain is masking their insecurities and they’re looking to put you down to make themselves feel better. Resist the temptation to strike back, merely remove them from your life.  If you can not remove them, insulate your life against them as much as possible.

More stuff will only complicate your life.  Buy only what you can comfortably afford.  There will always be a next best something but honestly, you don’t need it.  Advertising is based on creating a need and they create that need by convincing you that you’re not good enough just as you are. Figure out what you truly need (hint: it’s less than you think) and buy no more or no less.  No thing is ever worth your peace-of-mind.