Uncomplicated

Uncomplicated is one of those words that makes me cringe when I hear it dripping off a guy’s lips.  He’s intending it as a compliment but it really isn’t and I’ll tell you why….If your relationship is uncomplicated, then one of you isn’t being authentic and most likely, it’s you.

You know what a synonym for uncomplicated is?  Easy.  I’m not saying that your job in a relationship is to make his life difficult but you can be too accommodating, too understanding, too afraid to rock the boat.  Sure you want to put your best foot forward but make sure you’re being your true self.  Don’t create an image of yourself for him to fall in love with because it’s unsustainable.  Don’t be so intent on winning the guy that you lose yourself.

Some guys (not all guys – there are good guys out there) will use this word as a behavior modifier.  It’s a bit of a veiled threat – keep the relationship simple and the relationship continues; make the relationship complicated and the relationship ends.  It’s manipulation.  If you’re involved with one of these guys – run and don’t look back!

So if you’re with a guy who suddenly comes up with this little gem – ask him what it means and listen to his response with your brain, not your heart…because a guy who wants an undemanding relationship doesn’t want all the marvelous complications that real life holds.

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Direct from my desk – week 40

Come closer and I’ll tell you a secret about how men pick the woman they want to be in a relationship with.  It’s not about how beautiful she is (that’s the woman he wants to date).  It’s the girl not with the slammin’ body (that’s the woman he wants to sleep with).  It’s not anything to do with performing tricks in the bedroom, bombarding him with phone calls, or any other external factor.

A man chooses the woman who makes him feel good about himself.

If there is a man you find interesting, find out what he values about himself (and what he believes his weak points are) and give sincere appreciation for the person that he is.  One well-placed compliment is worth more than one hundred hollow attempts at flattery.  Realize that any attempt to change him will be perceived as a shortcoming on his part.  He may change for you but he may also resent you for it.  Value who he is and what he brings to the table.  If you can’t do that, you might not be with the right guy.