The myth of the independent woman and why they’re never called independent men

Oh put your pitchforks down, ladies!  I’m not working for the opposition.  In fact, quite the opposite.  We have been sold a bill of goods that, in order to be real women, we must be independent women.

The dictionary defines independent as, amongst other things, not relying on another or others for aid or support.  So in order to be an authentic female, we must rely on no one else for anything; we must learn everything, say everything, do everything without the help of another person.  This is utter hogwash and impossible to accomplish.

So why does this concept persist?  The sad thing to say is, we all feed into it.  We feel like it’s the gold standard and anything less than perfection is letting down ourselves and our sisters.

You have to ask yourself why have you never heard the term “independent man”?  It’s because they’ve already figured it out.  Notwithstanding a few cliches (e.g., asking for directions), men are not afraid that getting help will rob them of their autonomy.

It’s time for us to drop the act and learn to be interdependent, not independent, but that my lovelies, is another blog.

Direct from my desk – week 34

A relationship is a delicate balancing act between your needs and the needs of the other person.  It’s difficult not to get sucked so far into someone’s life that you start to lose your footing in your life.  Once you start to feel that you’re giving more than you’re getting, you will begin to feel resentful and take it out on the other person.  If you listen carefully, you can hear the bells tolling, proclaiming the beginning of the end.

It is mandatory that you maintain some sense of autonomy within your relationship.  Not only in keeping up with your life outside your relationship but also in your ability to set and achieve goals independent of your partner.  Do not allow yourself to become someone (for better or worse) that you do not recognize.  Your partner fell in love with you – make sure you are maintaining that person.

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