The myth of the independent woman and why they’re never called independent men

Oh put your pitchforks down, ladies!  I’m not working for the opposition.  In fact, quite the opposite.  We have been sold a bill of goods that, in order to be real women, we must be independent women.

The dictionary defines independent as, amongst other things, not relying on another or others for aid or support.  So in order to be an authentic female, we must rely on no one else for anything; we must learn everything, say everything, do everything without the help of another person.  This is utter hogwash and impossible to accomplish.

So why does this concept persist?  The sad thing to say is, we all feed into it.  We feel like it’s the gold standard and anything less than perfection is letting down ourselves and our sisters.

You have to ask yourself why have you never heard the term “independent man”?  It’s because they’ve already figured it out.  Notwithstanding a few cliches (e.g., asking for directions), men are not afraid that getting help will rob them of their autonomy.

It’s time for us to drop the act and learn to be interdependent, not independent, but that my lovelies, is another blog.

Not quite a manchild, not quite a man

There are men in life that we may incorrectly identify as a manchild.  In fact, they aren’t immature, they’re simply bewildered by life.  Not only do they not have it together, they’re perpetually in danger of it all coming apart at the seams.

These men go in fits and spurts but they always cycle.  They have a great idea, pursue it for a few weeks, and then give up when it gets too tough.  The big problem is that they honestly don’t know what they want out of life.  They’re still experimenting, trying to figure it all out.

While helping them may seem exciting at times, it can get downright tiring as you feel as though you’re constantly picking up the ball and running with it only to find him slowing down or even dragging his feet.  The trick?  Don’t pick up the ball.  If he has a direction he wants to go in life, be supportive but let him lead.  It’s his life and he, not you, needs to be in control of it.