File this under “lies married men tell.” I can hear you gnashing your teeth as I type! One of the biggest is that he’s going to leave his wife once x, y, or z occurs. It’s usually anything from his ship coming in to the kids leaving the nest. The simple fact of the matter is, if he was going to leave her he would have already.
Why say it? Because if he were to tell you that he’s perfectly satisfied in his situation as it stands and what he’s interested in is sex on the side, you’d run a mile. “But there are girls out there who will give them sex,” I can hear you say. Yes but most men like a bit of a challenge, and a woman who believes they’re in a relationship is less likely to out him to his wife.
So why does it work? Hope. You want to believe him. You want to believe that you’re not the other woman. You want to believe that there is some unseen force that prevents him from divorcing his wife and being with you. Unfortunately, you’re lying to yourself as much as he’s lying to you.
Tell him to get his proverbial sh*t together, leave his wife, and then come see if you’re still interested. If he never comes back, the only thing you’ve lost is a guy who will lie to you and who will eventually cheat on you in much the same way.