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Paying him to go away

I’ve known a number of people who remained in relationships for money, or rather, for a lack of money.  Sometimes there is an honest lack of money but sometimes it stems from deception or inertia.

If it’s merely a matter of inertia, you need to make some hard decisions.  Have you overstayed your exit strategy?  Have you gotten comfortable in a poor relationship?  Are you sure you’re ready to leave?  Crunch the numbers again and then decide if you’re ready to rip the band-aid off.  (Oh, and if you stay, you need to commit to the relationship, relationships do not take place in gray areas.)

It could be deception, either conscious or subconscious, by either party.  They could be saying that they don’t have enough money to make it on their own all the while they’re going out and partying every weekend.  You could be telling yourself that you’re worried they don’t have sufficient financial skills to make it on their own.  None of this changes the fact that you are not responsible for the other person once you’ve severed the relationship.

If, on the other hand, there is an honest lack of funds – like your partner says that he doesn’t have his half of the money to pay for the divorce paperwork or to afford to move his belongings to a new place – my suggestion is radical, pay for it yourself.  If all that stands between you and your new life is an amount of money you can easily afford, pay it and go be happy.


2 responses to “Paying him to go away

  1. evelynstreet123 ⋅

    That shouldn’t be a radical idea though, if you want something you have to get it done. A person has to take charge of such a situation, not sleep on it and be unhappy, or to save a bit of money.

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