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Addicted…to love?

Some men are addicts although their drug of choice does not come in pill form, they’re addicted to love.  Or rather, they’re addicted to the first blush of love – the crush.  A crush brings a rush of hormones that create that heady feeling, where you’re swimming through a pool of euphoria, skipping from one high to the next.  I mean, when you put it like that, who wouldn’t want to live with that feeling all the time.

Except for the fact that it’s just a crush.  It’s not real love, it’s a chemical reaction in your body to convince you to breed.  It’s easy to get and almost impossible to sustain.  Like addiction, you want that constant high but a long-term, stable relationship rarely delivers that fix.

So a man who is addicted to crushes will constantly go out in search of them, even if he’s already in a stable relationship.  He’s chasing that high and that means that his full attention is not on  you.  Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to solve this for him.  It’s a bottomless pit that he’s going to have to learn how to fill up, patch over, or build a bridge – all on his own or with the help of a therapist.

If you can see this guy coming, avoid him.  If you’re already involved, get him help or you’ll forever play second fiddle.

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7 responses to “Addicted…to love?

  1. evelynstreet123 ⋅

    I have this problem, you know of anywhere I can get help? Not like I really want to but it seems sensible to find out. I realised I was doing this from about 14/15 and haven’t had a serious relationship since so I guess it’s something I should worry about….

    • In my completely non-professional opinion, your best way to get treatment for this is to see a psychologist. You could do a lot of soul-searching to figure out why you do it and how to overcome it but a professional is going to be a lot more efficient. They will be able to ask the right questions to get to the heart of the matter (so to speak) and help you along the path to recovery.

      • evelynstreet123 ⋅

        Thanks, I mean I think I can hazard a guess that its some sort of attachment issue, mommy problems like. But I mean how would one treat that? With talking? I think psychologists exploit a need in humans to be treated by someone else.

      • If you want to hazard it yourself (and again, I’m not a professional so this is just my opinion here), you could try journaling. Ask yourself why you’re always chasing the high and what you think would be lacking in a stable, long-term relationship. Ask yourself what could be the root of the perceived issue and how you can “fix” it. Just realize that doing it yourself will take longer because it’s less targeted. Perhaps psychologists do exploit the human need to feel “treated” but I view any professional as an expedient way to get from where I am to where I want to go. It’s a bit like, if I wanted to be an MMA fighter, I’d get a trainer and a coach. Could I do it on my own? If I had enough determination, probably, but a coach and a trainer are going to get me there faster.

  2. evelynstreet123 ⋅

    Thanks I really appreciate your reply, although an athlete is not considered a professional I understand your metaphor.

  3. evelynstreet123 ⋅

    You could follow me and see if there’s any change in my fantastically promiscuous lifestyle. 🙂

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