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I love me, I really really love me

The narcissist is a man who is in love with himself.  It’s easy to spot the obvious narcissist (like a sociopath) but it can be more difficult to the more subtle narcissist, as it can masquerade an overly-healthy sense of self.  There is also the problem of not wanting to unfairly label someone, so we sometimes hide from the truth.

So what should you look for?  The classic sign is an inflated sense of self.  Arrogance and entitlement are fairly apparent in one’s personality.  It can be harder to discern a lack of empathy (watch for how they react to the pain/misfortune of others) or a fragile self-esteem (do they over-react to criticism).

A lot of successful men are somewhat narcissistic, (which is why so many of them are surprised when they’re caught doing foolish things, they thought they were too smart to get caught).  Narcissists can be quite charming and their belief in themselves can be quite seductive.  If you get ensnared in their web, it can take a while to see the truth.

So perhaps being involved with a narcissist is not so black and white.  While the easy advice would be that you should run immediately, perhaps the better advice is to tell you to determine how much of a narcissist he is and to ask yourself if can you live with that?  Is the upside worth the downside?


2 responses to “I love me, I really really love me

  1. I never would have called my ex husband a narcissist because he seemed so passive, but my therapist has pointed out to me that he is what you would call a passive/aggressive narcissist. He was/is manipulative, controlling and selfish but he does things in an underhanded way so you don’t recognize it right away. It has become obvious since the divorce that he only cares for himself because he doesn’t show any regard for the children’s needs or feelings and has basically abandoned them. So being with a narcissist can eventually have some pretty awful consequences. He doesn’t consider what he is doing to his own kids when he rejects and ignores them. 😦

    • It breaks my heart to hear what your ex is doing to you and especially your children. I know that there are those out there who would say, “every child needs their father,” but honestly, some people are not fit to be parents. I’m glad that you’re strong for your children and you’re guiding them in the right direction in spite of their dad.

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