Ah, the knight in shining armor that we’ve been told to always look for. The problem with men that want to rescue you is that you have to be perpetually in trouble to keep them interested. I would hope by now that you’ve learned that you don’t need a man to rescue you so this type of man should be avoided until he’s been through rehab.
So how do you recognize a rescuer? It could be the gleam in his eyes when he’s untying you from the railroad tracks but most likely, it’s not going to be that evident. He may have come into your life at a bad moment. He may seem overly interested when you have problems and less interested when things are calm. He may rely a bit too much on being your hero and demonstrate a need to be needed.
So why do they do it? Rescuers are often looking for a purpose and a little bit of hero worship. Some of them are also looking for an unequal relationship where you “owe” them. If you find yourself in a relationship with a rescuer, make sure that they know that you love and respect them and that you want to be with them for the person that they are. You should also attempt to re-direct their focus into helping those less fortunate to fulfill their need to be needed.