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Direct from my desk – week 43

I’ve stated time and again that your significant other should NOT be your best friend.  Among other things, it gives you no place to turn in times of distress.  What you need is one really good confidante.

Your confidante may or may not be your best friend.  If you don’t have a best friend, look carefully at the people you’ve surrounded yourself by.   Your confidante needn’t be the person that you spend the most time with or have the most in common with.  What your confidante should be is:

  • Loyal to your relationship
  • Discreet with your secrets
  • Stable, not flighty or volatile
  • Gives good advice on a variety of subjects
  • Has no agenda in your relationship or life

Your confidante may not reciprocate in this relationship – don’t feel threatened.  A lot of people who are good at keeping secrets are also great at keeping their own.  You may need to develop this relationship slowly, share a small secret or problem and see how they react.  You may also want to ask if they’re interested in being your confessor as this is a position of trust and you don’t want it to turn out badly.

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