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When he wants to have a baby

Possibly the four scariest words coming from a man are, “Let’s have a baby.”  While this could be taken as a good sign, if you’re not married (or on a similar commitment level), there could be a variety of reasons why a man suggest this and you should fear it or not.

First, find out why he wants to have a baby:

  • Your relationship is in trouble and he thinks it will make things better.
  • He doesn’t want to get married but wants to “show” that the relationship is progressing.
  • Your genes and his genes would make cute babies.
  • He wants a baby and the uterus is irrelevant.
  • He honestly wants to have and raise children together.  (Obviously this is the only good reason.)

After you know why, then you can work out how to handle the situation. Gentle confrontation and tactful honesty will probably work best.

If the relationship is unstable or he’s unwilling to make a commitment to you (there are a number of men who will try to tell you that a baby demonstrates more commitment than marriage), suggest counseling before you opt for getting pregnant.

Cute babies?  Tell him he’ll need a better reason; it’s probably a passing fancy.

If he’s getting broody, it may or may not pass.  If, when discussing having children, he makes you feel irrelevant, absolutely refuse.  He may go find a more accommodating woman but it’s better than attempting to co-parent with a person who believes you do not matter.

There are good guys out there, use your judgment.

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