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Cheating, not just for income taxes anymore

Unfortunately, a person isn’t always forthright about their cheating.  This then requires that the person be confronted (or not).  If you choose to confront, do so in a controlled manner.  If you choose not to confront be aware that your options are limited to leaving or living with it.

Remember, men never like to be the “bad guy” so don’t expect that it will be an easy conversation.  Even when asked a direct question, he may be evasive or even lie because you “didn’t ask the right question.”  So take a few moments ahead of time to do your homework.

You know your partner better than most people.  Determine your approach by considering his possible reactions.  Are your suspicions justified?  What tone would best elicit the truth?  What questions would get him to open up?  What words would upset him and cause him to clam up?  I realize that it may seem a bit counter-intuitive to think about how he may react when you’re the one who with the suspicions but if you want to get him to admit the truth, perceptive questions will work better than loud accusations.

When you’re ready for the confrontation, make your preparations carefully.  Choose a calm time, preferably after you’ve had something to eat (low blood sugar will not help matters), and ask your partner for a few minutes.  Keep your voice calm and as unemotional as you can.  Ask your questions and listen to the responses.  Trust your gut instinct and watch his body language.  Is he being evasive? Be gentle with your prodding, the ultimate goal is getting an answer to your questions, not to get your pound of flesh.

Do not ask for details, just get to the truth.  You can not progress in the relationship if you’re both living under a cloud of suspicion.  The bigger question is what will you do now that you have your answer?


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