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Spank the monkey

Okay ladies, I’m going to share a secret with you:  guys masturbate.

No matter your personal feelings on the issue, you’re just going to have to accept this little fact of life and move forward. It’s not dirty.  It’s not personal.  It’s not contrary to being in a relationship.  It simply is and unless it’s impeding your sex life, it’s nothing to be concerned about.  (If it is hurting your sex life, please seek counseling as a couple.)

So let me explain how guys masturbate, at least how it was explained to me.  They’re not giving themselves a storyline surrounding a specific person.  It’s a bit more like ADD – pictures frantically flitting through their heads, not really able to attach to one image for any measurable amount of time.  The action (both mental and physical) is rapid and to the point.  It’s over within a few minutes.  The whole process is efficient and unemotional.

Why do guys masturbate if there’s a woman around?  Honestly, it’s McSex.  It’s a form of quick relief without having to consider the feelings of someone else.  (Think about it – would you really want a guy to go from start to finish with you in under two minutes?)

Why do guys lie about it or hide it?  Generally because they’ve been told that they need to hide it/lie about it from the moment they discovered it.  Those guys that say that they don’t masturbate?  They’re lying.  With few exceptions, men masturbate.  A wise woman will make this work for her.

What should I do about it? At the very least, let your partner know that you are okay with his masturbation.  If you want to go a step further, incorporate it into your sex life.  Whatever you do, do not make him feel bad about it or you’ll push it underground and this will cause a fissure in the bedrock of your relationship.


4 responses to “Spank the monkey

  1. Pingback: Pornography – the good, the bad, and the indifferent « Girl, don't be stupid!

  2. I choose not to masturbate because I have a healthy sexually intimate relationship with my wife. Masturbation, for me, is a sign of selfishness and the “fast food” mentality we are bombarded with in today’s society. I would rather wait a little while longer for the 5-course meal than quickly eat at McDonalds.

    Furthermore, a frank and open discussion should be had by both parties about the frequency of the masturbation. If the guy (or girl) is masturbating every day, then that could be a sign of a potential problem and needs to be addressed by a counselor.

  3. Pingback: Direct from my desk – week 39 « Girl, don't be stupid!

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