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Do not fake it til you make it

It’s tempting to fake an orgasm.  After all, it suits a need and who is going to know?  You will and you’re cheating yourself!

First, find out if the problem is you.  Do you know what you like?  Do you know how to bring yourself to orgasm?  Do you know how to articulate it in a way that’s comfortable for you?  If you answered “no” then you have a bit of research to do.  Don’t feel awkward about it, the latest research indicates that orgasms can increase your life span.  Even if they can’t, they will make for more satisfying life.

Men, contrary to what we’ve heard, do not need to be coddled into thinking they’re a sexgod.  They’re big boys (they better be if you’re having sex with them!) and they can handle the truth.  I wouldn’t hold up a score-card or give feedback like, “well that isn’t going to work,” but you can address it honestly and kindly.

  1. Reassure him that you like your sex life just fine and that it’s not a problem with him.  Men, rightly or wrongly, feel it’s their duty to make you orgasm.
  2. If you’ve faked it in the past, apologize for your dishonesty and be prepared for him to feel betrayed – that’s something that you’ll have to make up to him.
  3. Tell him that you want to experiment (men seem to love this word just don’t get freaked out if he has a few suggestions of his own – deal with them as kindly as you can).
  4. Gently coach him on how to bring you to orgasm.  Do NOT get frustrated and give up – this won’t help either of you.
  5. You may need to enlist the help of a sex therapist (it’s surprisingly more common than you’d think).
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