“Never turn your husband down for sex or he’ll look elsewhere.” “Lie back and think of England.” “Never criticize his performance.” For years women were fed ridiculous lines like this when it came to dealing with their husbands and sex. While I’m sure the advisers had the advisee’s best interests at heart, it encourages women not to be authentic in their relationship with their husband.
Feel free to disregard all the bad advice you’ve ever been given about sex and start fresh. Take a good long look at your attitude toward sex and how it impacts your relationships. A healthy sex life is essential for a healthy relationship. Now, I’m not saying that you have to have Olympic-level sex on a nightly basis – just a sexual relationship that is satisfying to both you and your partner.
Short dry spells are more common than you might think but a longer dry spell may have more serious effects on your relationships. Men (insert sweeping generalization here) tend to associate the status of the sexual health of the relationship with the health of the relationship in total. If you find yourself in a long dry spell, you may want to take a moment to check in with your partner to acknowledge the issue and embark on a discussion of the potential issues causing it.
You might find that you and your partner have differing libidos at various points in your life. In fact, this would be entirely normal and is generally associated with hormones levels and/or the state of your mental health. For both issues, I would encourage you to seek professional help in resolving the issue. In all cases I would encourage some serious self-reflection regarding how you approach your sexuality as the knowledge can only enhance your life.