This week I was speaking with a friend about her latest breakup. When we got off the phone I realized that there were two things that I really wanted to emphasize to her and to my readers:
1. You teach men how to treat you. I’m not saying that you should act like a duchess if he doesn’t remember to open your car door but if you accept any bad behavior – lying, cheating, stealing – then you’re guaranteeing that it will happen again. Place a premium value on yourself (make sure you deserve it!) and then communicate to him what your standards are. Again, you never need to be bitchy, just forthright. Tell him what you need and then the ball is in his court. He can either drop it or pick it up and run with it.
2. Set the bar high. If you’re used to (even laughingly) making caustic comments about men, cracking “stupid men” jokes, or even agreeing with statements like “all men are dogs”, you’re letting them know that this is the behavior you expect from them. In other words, you’re giving them permission to act exactly like the comments you make (worse, you’re expecting it!). Instead, expect more from men – they’re not only capable of it, they want you to expect better of them (beware the man that doesn’t – he’s not on your team).
My mailbox is open: firstname.lastname@example.org