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Trivial pursuits

Almost everyone has a set of rules for their life.  These are usually not shared openly because they generally aren’t conversational.  You don’t tell your friends that you can’t sleep if there are dishes in the sink or that socks on the living room floor drive you nuts.  These tend to be trivial but important rules (if only important to the person who holds them).

When we get into a new relationship, we have a tendency to put our best foot forward and we sometimes forget to mention our rules to our partner lest we come off a little….crazy.  This is a big mistake.  You’re inviting your partner to break rules that they don’t know exist.  You’re being unfair and setting them up to fail.  So make sure you know what your rules are and make sure you inform your partner – so they can make an informed decision regarding the placement of their socks.

After that, you have to learn how to pick your battles.  You will not be able to convert your partner to every single one of your rules.  It’s simply not possible.  Happily, he won’t be able to convert you to all of his rules either (like his insistence that dirty dishes go in the sink, not the dishwasher).  Learn which of your rules are mandatory and which are flexible.  Not every rule is worth an argument – sometimes an alternative can be reached.  Do your best to let the trivial stuff go, negotiate the rest, and live happy.

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