Obviously I’m a big believer in negotiation. It allows us to resolve disagreements by focusing on remaining a unit and coming up with a mutually agreeable solution.
I’m also a big believer in rules because they allow us to know what the expectations are. You can’t fault someone for breaking a rule that they didn’t know about. Every couple needs to establish their own rules to provide structure to their relationship. Of course, rules will vary from person to person and in many cases, they will need to be negotiated between the people involved. Many couples live with unspoken rules but I believe that explicit rules are better because they can not be misinterpreted to the advantage of one partner over another.
Some people may feel that this is too much work or that not everything needs to be written out. I’m not sure either method is 100% correct for 100% of the people and you should certainly strive to find the right balance with your partner.
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