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Equitable division of labor

Despite our best efforts as a society, when it comes to household chores, women are shouldering more of the burden than their partners.  I don’t believe that this is due to an inherently sexist society but rather that women tend to be a bit more specific about how and how often the chores should be performed.

Some women are perfectly happy to do most of the household chores.  They know exactly how they want it done and would prefer that no-one mess with their system.  So if it’s not broken, don’t try to fix it.

However, I’ve known more than one woman who ended up doing most of the chores because she was critical when her partner did it.  Chore by chore, when she wasn’t appreciative it was done, he decided to avoid the criticism by simply abandoning the effort to do anything at all.  Neither party would be in the right in this circumstance.

If you do find yourself in a situation where you feel that you’re doing more than your fair share of the chores, it’s time to have a discussion with your mate (and yes, you might have to have this talk with him periodically as things slip).  Pick a quiet time and bring it up in a non-accusatory manner.  Be able to cite specific references of chores that used to be his that you’re now doing.  Have suggestions for an equitable division of labor that both parties can live with.  Negotiate without getting into an argument.  If necessary, make an informal written agreement so that there are no misunderstanding about who is supposed to do what.

Oh, and say “thank you” when he does his chores.  Gratitude begets gratitude and I believe we could all use a little more of it.


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