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Why you shouldn’t live together

This advice flies in the face of all modern conventions but don’t live together before you get married.  This isn’t religious nor is it “conservative values”.  It’s practical and here’s why:

  1. The decision to move in together is often made prematurely and isn’t based on lifelong commitment. It may be based on overly-romantic notions (I want to spend every waking moment with you!) without really considering if this person is a good potential marriage partner.
  2. It may be based on momentary practicalities (I’m spending 5 nights a week here anyhow, we might as well split the rent) rather than looking at how this will entangle your legal and financial lives.  If your name is on the lease and he moves out, you’re still responsible for all the rent each month until the lease expires.
  3. A guy will often suggest living together in order to give the illusion of the relationship “moving forward” without there being any actual deepening of the commitment.  (Note:  This isn’t all guys but it is some guys.)
  4. Living together gives the benefits of marriage without having done the work first.  This will almost certainly cause the relationship to be more difficult than necessary because the intense discussions about long-term goals and values are not taking place.
  5. Living together has not been proven to increase the chances of a viable marriage.
  6. Last but not least – why would you pick up after a man before you’re legally required to?  (Despite everyone’s best efforts, household roles still fall into gender-based stereotypes.)

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