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Mom meet boyfriend, boyfriend meet mom

At some point you’re going to want Prince Charming to meet your friends and family. It is in your best interest to make their meeting as smooth as possible.  Having said that, trying to control the situation will end in disaster.  Your best option is preparation, preparation, preparation.

  • Start small and work your way up.  Maybe a dinner or drinks with a few friends.  Do not throw him in the deep end with a family holiday.
  • Give him the lowdown on who he is going to meet.  Is your mom crazy for grandkids?  Is your best friend flirty?  Let him know what he’s stepping into.
  • Manage but don’t control.  For example, guide the conversation but don’t talk over everyone or try to explain statements made by others.
  • Don’t freak out if things go pear-shaped.  Everyone is an adult and they’ll figure out how to get along.
  • Get feedback from your friends and family.  They may see things that you don’t.

There is no guarantee that your loved ones will love your significant other.  If they don’t, you may want to find out why.  Are they seeing red flags that you aren’t seeing?  They may be reluctant to give you their honest opinions so be prepared to elicit and listen to honest feedback.  You don’t have to agree with everything they say but do think it over.


2 responses to “Mom meet boyfriend, boyfriend meet mom

  1. thisshygirl ⋅

    this is good advice, but I worry about my boyfriend meeting my parents because I met him online and don’t know how to tell them about him without them freaking out, as I’m 19 and still live with them.

    • Outside of serious religious communities, I think most parents do assume that at a certain point their children are going to look for a partner. Save exceptional circumstances, I think it’s fair to say at 19 years old, you’re old enough to have a boyfriend. I think you may find that your parents are more reasonable than you may assume. If you haven’t already embarked on an adult relationship with your parents, it is a good time to start (btw, an adult relationship with your parents will take years to establish as both sides adjust and it will probably improve greatly once you move out of the house).

      It’s probably better to ease your parents into the fact that you have a boyfriend rather than springing it on them when the relationship is more serious (Mom, Dad, this is my fiance.). I would suggest a divide and conquer strategy. Pick whichever parent you have the more casual relationship with and make an offhand comment that you’ve met someone who interests you. Make a comment every few weeks about your boyfriend by name so that they know he’s in the picture. When the time is right, introduce him to your parents. As long as you’re not inviting a number of friends to meet your parents at once, they’re probably savvy enough to understand what the introduction means.

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