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Sleepover Etiquette

Spending the night is fraught with potential missteps that you’ll want to avoid if you’re hoping to be invited back.  All the things your mother told you about being a good guest hold true for sleepovers with the opposite sex.  You are being judged by how your handle yourself – be impressive in more than just the bedroom.

  1. Do not show up empty-handed.  I suggest bringing condoms.
  2. Offer to help out.  Bring your dishes to the sink, make the bed in the morning.
  3. This isn’t your home.  Clean up after yourself.
  4. Leave nothing behind – not a toothbrush, not a pair of panties in the couch.
  5. Do not overstay your welcome.  Leave him wanting more.
  6. A thank you note is not necessary but a follow up text message is nice (G-rated please, you don’t want to embarrass either of you).
  7. Remember that he hasn’t suddenly become your property, no getting possessive or obsessive.

2 responses to “Sleepover Etiquette

  1. Claire ⋅

    On the flipside (which you may well cover in next posting) I highly recommend when having someone sleep over :

    1. Have a plan for the following day (A lazy day in bed, another outing with them or is it one night)
    2. Set a clear departure time in advance to avoid the “Uhm, look, it’s noon and you need to leave now” moments or potential hurt feelings. (And works along with the ‘leave them wanting more’ principle.)

    At least I find those work well.

    I agree wholeheartedly about carrying condoms – they even have special tiny hard plastic cases to put condom packets in – prevents punctures from purses or wallets and heat damage. You also know he expirey date on the condom!

    A great read! Thank you!

    • Good points! I think the over-arcing theme is “do not assume”. Do not assume that they have condoms and that they are within their expiration period. Do not assume that you’re going to be spending the next day together. Do not assume that it’s an exclusive relationship just because you spent the night (it would be nice if it worked that way but it doesn’t).

      I think it’s better to be a little less available unless the guy asks for the night plus the next day. Get up, put on your clothes, make the coffee then plan to leave. If he’s hurt by you’re not staying, he’ll definitely bring it up. On the other hand, they’ll rarely voice the words that you need to leave – they’ll just plan the next sleepover at your place.

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