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One plus one makes two

How cute.  You’ve met a boy.  You have a crush.  He has a crush on you too.  You’re dating but where does your relationship really stand?  Ask him.

Do not twirl your hair around your finger and say that you want to “talk about us”.  Do not pounce on him with “where are we going with this?”  Do not make veiled statements or worse, threats.

Simply ask him if you’ve made the leap from single to couple.  Most likely it will start a conversation.  If he’s interested, he may ask what your definition of coupledom is so you’ll need to give it some serious thought.  Does it mean sexual monogamy?  Does it mean a standing date every Saturday night?  Do you see it as the start of the road to marriage and kids?  Be very clear about your expectations and ask him about his.

If his answer is no, accept it and act accordingly.  Do not whinge, you asked a question and he respected you enough to give you an honest answer.  We tend to make too much of this conversation and put too much pressure on the answer.  If you calmly accept his negative response, you are free to ask again at another time.

On the other hand, if his answer is yes – congratulations!  You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you.


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