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How to be dumped gracefully

As terrible as dumping someone is, it’s worse to be the one being dumped.  You’re shocked, you’re angry, and somewhere inside of you, you may want revenge for this slight.  However, you don’t really want to be known as the psycho ex-girlfriend so here is how you handle it:

  1. Immediately accept that the situation is happening.  This is not the time for denial – face the music and dance.
  2. Listen carefully to what he’s saying.  While most of what he’s saying may be filler, there is probably a kernel of truth in there somewhere – what can you learn from it? (i.e., if he states that you’re a jealous shrew, consider how your actions might have made him think that you’re jealous and/or a bitch)
  3. No matter what incendiary statement he makes, do not respond in kind.  It would be easy to get angry and say mean things however this is only going to make his decision easier, not harder.
  4. Do not attempt to change his mind – again, it creates a power imbalance and eventually resentment.  If he really wants to be out of the relationship, he’s not going to even attempt to be a good boyfriend.
  5. Remember, it’s not about scoring points, it’s about walking away with your dignity intact.
  6. As quickly as you can gracefully exit, do so.  He may have picked a busy restaurant to prevent you from making a scene so merely smile and excuse yourself.
  7. Call your best friend and vent to her.  Decide that no revenge is needed because karma will bite him in the ass much harder than you could.
  8. Remove all vestiges of him from your life.  Delete his number from your phone.  Unfriend him on social networking sites.  Donate the stuff that he gave you.
  9. Hit pause on your dating life.  Take some time to work through any residual issues before putting yourself back out there.
  10. When you are ready to get back to dating, start small with few expectations.  Date, don’t look for an immediate relationship.

One response to “How to be dumped gracefully

  1. Pingback: Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye « Girl, don't be stupid!

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