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Familiarity breeds contempt

When we get into a new relationship, we tend to go a bit overboard trying to convince the other person that we’re “the one” for them.  In doing so, we tend to give up too much of ourselves to make them comfortable.  We do too much for them.  We “understand” too much.  We create a false impression of ourselves and we allow them to take us for granted.

Of course none of us are able to sustain a false impression and soon, their laissez-faire approach to the relationship will start to grate on our nerves.  We want to say something but at that point we’ve allowed them to believe that we’re someone that we’re not, holding values that we do not hold.  The more they treat us like a doormat, the more passive-aggressive we get.  At some point we’re just standing there wide-eyed trying to see how much longer it’s going to go on.

In our attempts to make the relationship easier for them, we’re slowly “understanding” the relationship to death.  So ladies, be straight-forward from the beginning.  Tell them what you need in a relationship and where the boundaries are.  You needn’t be mean about it, just honest and forthright.  If you’re already in the relationship, stop being so accommodating.  Nicely assert yourself and let him know what is and isn’t acceptable.  If he doesn’t take heed, then you have a discussion (and decision) on your hands.

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