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Going to the chapel

When a relationship is fresh and new, it’s tempting to muse about the future – wedding, kids, growing old together.  The problem with this is that you really don’t know the person that well.  Sure there are exceptions to every rule but it’s not wise to think that you’re the exception.

So before your imagination jumps too far ahead, consider what you do and don’t know about the person.  Also consider that people can be very good at keeping up a front but that eventually it’s going to slip and you’ll see the real person.  I don’t advise planning a future with someone until you’ve seen the whole, real person.

How can you be sure if you’ve seen the real deal?  You’ll need to see a person at their worst – through an illness AND a financial crisis.  The illness will show you how that person handles discomfort and the financial crisis will show you how they handle stress.  Once you know those two things you’re in a better position to judge if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.

How long should this take?  Approximately one year.  It sounds like a long time but it really isn’t in the grand scheme of things.


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