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Always order the steak

There are some men who are, let’s be honest, cheap.  I’m not talking about the guys who don’t have a lot of money but who will spend every dime they have on you (don’t take advantage of them!).  I’m not talking about the guys who are financially responsible, trying to make sure their bills are paid and still show you a good time.  I’m talking about the guys who try to spend as little money as possible to get into your panties.

A nice but poor boy may take you on a picnic, take you to a matinee movie, will read you his favorite book at the local bookstore.  He may not have a lot of money to spend on you but he’ll pay attention to what you like and be creative about showing you a good time.

A cheapskate will ask you to coffee and already be sitting with his cup (but not yours – he didn’t know what you wanted) by the time you get there.  A cheapskate will take you to dinner and then tell you that he’s not that hungry figuring you won’t want to eat more than him on a date.  A cheapskate will want to spend every Friday night with his feet on your coffee table and eating from your pantry.  In short, a cheapskate is wholly unimaginative and will do as little as possible in his attempts to woo you.

I’ll be the first person to say that having a good time doesn’t require a lot of money if you’re with the right person.  If you’re with the wrong person, there isn’t enough money in the world to make that time entertaining.  Don’t waste your time on the wrong guy and don’t order the salad – always order the steak.


4 responses to “Always order the steak

  1. Olympia

    I don’t think a coffee date is indicative of being cheap, especially if we are talking about online dating. There is a HUGE chance that there will be no connection when you meet in person, even if you connect with them online. Going for coffee lowers the investment and allows for an escape. Plus, you go on a lot more dates when you are doing the online thing–that could get expensive.

    I actually do not like going out to dinner on a first date for several reasons. Firstly, I don’t have an easy, quick escape route if the date sucks or the dude is lame. Secondly, I am a broke graduate students and a feminist. While I am okay with men paying for me on dates, I assume that we will split until we don’t, because you never know on a first date. I have limited funds to eat out and I would rather spend them with better company and at restaurants I know are good. So, I don’t really want to spend a lot of money on dates with dudes I barely know. One time, a guy asked me out to the most expensive restaurant in the city. I had to send an awkward message asking to change the venue because there was no way I could afford a $60-70 dinner if he asked to split and I had no idea if he would. It was uncomfortable, but I am glad I did it.

    • As you read further into my blog, you’ll find that one of my points is to have fewer but better quality dates which requires sorting through men earlier in the process. It’s a more targeted approach that, among other things, lessens the likelihood of having to find an escape route on your date.

      My rule on dating is whomever asks, pays. I agree that women should always be willing and able to pony up their share of the bill just-in-case. However, there are far more interesting activities than meeting for coffee. Go ice skating, fix a simple picnic, attend a free lecture at a local museum. Do something that’s going to stimulate conversation and revolves around a common interest. That will build rapport.

      A coffee date is a look-see, a throw-away – it requires zero commitment on either side. A guy needs some form of buy-in to a date, he needs to work for it. Otherwise, why are you putting time and attention into presenting yourself nicely on a date when he’s showing up in the same jeans he’s worn all day and a shirt he picked up off the floor and sniffed before putting it on?

      I edited your comment to remove the blog pimp and I’ve put you on my blogroll – you’ll get more hits that way than off one comment off one post on a daily blog. I’ll be reading you.

      • Olympia

        No problem about the edit–despite being 25, I feel like my grandma trying to use WP and Twitter (so confusing)!

        I’ve been struggling with going on quality dates partially because everyone has an opinion about who I should and shouldn’t exclude. I usually go by the “s/he who asks, pays” modus operandi, but on a first date, you just simply don’t know who is going to follow that rule. Everyone has different expectations; just look at this recent comment thread on Jezebel: … and commenters on Jez tend to be in the same boat about these things.

      • I think you should date whomever you choose to. I don’t think you should worry about appearing “elitist” because only you can decide what’s important to you and what your deal-breakers are. It’s nice that other people want to be included in the process however they’re not the one that’s going to have to deal with your partner on a daily basis (unless it’s a poly-amorous relationship but it’s difficult to find one person you want to be involved with let alone two).

        As for “the person who asks, pays”, I’d recommend bringing it up pretty early in the conversation. It doesn’t have to be a discussion, more of an aside, “By the way, I go by the general rule that whomever asks, pays.” Men are just as much in the dark as we are when it comes to dating. Honest communication is generally appreciated by both sides.

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