Often we’ll find ourselves three months into a new relationship when it slowly occurs to us – this isn’t a relationship, this is a project. Once you’re done with a project, you’re not going to want to settle down with the results – you’re going to be looking for a new project.
Make no mistake ladies, a project is all about your ego. If you can tame him/cure him/solve him then you’re “the one” that changed his life. This might make you feel special but is your goal to be the Mother Teresa of the dating scene?
So how do you spot a project?
- Ask yourself if you’re falling for his potential. His potential is merely your idealized version of him and that makes you his Pygmalion.
- Are you looking to change him more than a few degrees? Convincing him to try a new hairstyle is one thing, convincing him to try a new career is quite another.
- Are you devoting more time to developing him than developing yourself? If you’ve stopped your life trying to create his then you’re definitely headed in the wrong direction.
Projects take a lot of time and attention. Plus when you’re done with them you’ll never have an equal relationship. This will eventually lead to resentment on both sides. If you find yourself in a project, back out slowly with as few repercussions as possible.