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A matter of multiples

When you’re dating, it isn’t reasonable to expect that you (or the person you’re talking to) is going to maintain an exclusive relationship from the moment you meet.  In fact, you would probably be better off dating several men at once to avoid getting tunnel vision or settling for a bird in the hand.

When you’re dating multiple people, it’s important to define the limits for yourself and for those whom you are dating.  Are you okay with dating multiple people?  Are you okay with your person-of-interest dating multiple people?  How much emotional entanglement with multiple people are you comfortable with?  How far are you willing to go sexually with multiple people?  Know where you draw the line.

If you are dating multiple people, it’s polite and conscientious to let the other persons know and to let them know what your parameters are.  This needn’t be a brouhaha, simply drop your guidelines into a conversation, “I enjoy sex but I wait until I’m exclusive with someone,” or “I’m more comfortable dating multiple people until there is a reason not to.”

When you find yourself getting more serious about someone, that is the time to talk about taking things to the next level.  That will be covered in a later blog.  Until then, enjoy being in the moment.


4 responses to “A matter of multiples

  1. I usually find myself dating/talking to multiple people unless something gets serious..but on the same note find myself getting pissed if any of them are dating somone else. Unrealistic expectations much?

    • I’ve certainly been there and I’ve come to realize that it depends on where the expectation comes from. If it’s a matter of human nature (wanting the person that we want to want only us even if we’re wanting other people on the side) it’s merely unrealistic. However if it comes from a place of fear (if I want you more than you want me then you have the power to hurt me) then it becomes a controlling force. Having said that, if relationships were logical I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

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