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You gotta accentuate the positive

You always want to put your best foot forward when dating.  It’s tempting to simply speak freely when you first meet someone because after all, you’re attempting to get to know each other.  I would caution you though, to be careful what you reveal about yourself at least in the beginning.

  • Consider what you’re about to say and ask yourself how you would react to it being said to you.
  • Know your good points and don’t be afraid to highlight them – just don’t brag, it’s unseemly.
  • Practice a pause between being asked a question and answering it.  This will give you time to craft and edit your answer.
  • Answer in the affirmative, not the negative.  This will take some adjustment as you retrain yourself to frame things favorably.
  • Prepare answers to the usual date questions.  If something unusual has happened in your life, develop an upbeat answer for it but don’t bring it up unless he asks.
  • Eliminate negative terms from your vocabulary.  Never speak poorly about yourself.
  • If you find yourself speaking in a downward spiral, stop yourself, laugh and move on to a better subject.

More important, however, is learning to ask questions of your date.  Get to know him and evaluate his answers.  Keep your eyes open and listen to what he’s saying.

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