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No, I don’t want your number

That’s right, don’t take his number.  You’re a modern woman but that doesn’t mean you have to take his number or the lead in the relationship unless you want to.  So here’s the breakdown of the scenarios:

  • You meet him at a bar, he’s a lousy drunk and he’s trying to get you to take his number because he left his cellphone in the public toilet three bars ago.  If you don’t want his number (and why would you?  he’s just left the past 50 girls’ numbers in a public toilet!), be polite but firm and don’t lie.  The good news is that he won’t remember it in the morning.
  • He’s cute.  He’s charming.  However you get the feeling that he’s a bit of a player.  He wants you to take his number so that you’re chasing him.  Do you want to chase him?  Do you want to chase anyone?  Do you prefer to be pursued?  Again, politely and firmly decline his offer.  He’ll probably be intrigued and ask for yours.  I won’t tell you not to give it to him but I will tell you that it’s probably a big mistake.
  • This one gives you the idea that he prefers the female to take the lead in the relationship.  Maybe he’s a little shy.  You can’t quite put your finger on it but the idea of being the hunter with this one is actually intriguing.  Go ahead and take his number.  Then call him – once.  If he doesn’t respond in a timely fashion then you should delete his number.

You’re setting the tone of the relationship from the moment you meet someone.  Determine how you want it to proceed and what you’re willing to negotiate and don’t deviate from it or you’ll wake up one day thinking, “what the heck am I doing in this relationship?”

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