Pop Quiz! What do these phrases have in common:
- Hey baby, want to hang out or something?
- Why don’t you come over and we’ll watch a movie or something.
- We can just grab dinner or something tonight.
Did you catch the “or something”? That’s the international code for booty call. He doesn’t want to hang out, watch movies or grab dinner. He wants to have no-strings sex and if you say yes, you’re agreeing with the game plan. His moves are not romantic nor are they “taking it to the next level.” He informed you of his intentions and you agreed.
Alternately, if you use the “or something”, don’t be surprised if he’s expecting sex – you used the code!
So how do you get around the “or something”? Define your terms and require that he define his. Call him out on it. Ask him point blank what the “or something” is. If he firms up his plans, his intentions may be honorable. If he hems and haws, refuses to define his terms or says something like, “you know…just something” then you know where he stands. And if a guy thinks of you as a booty call, he’s not thinking of you as a potential girlfriend (and never will!). Don’t agree to be someone’s momentary amusement – you deserve better.