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Why a wingwoman is a bad idea

Wingmen work wonders for men.  Women are frequently more comfortable being approached by a guy if there is someone to vouch for him – even if we don’t know the wingman from Adam.

Men, on the other hand, have no such reservations about being approached by strangers.  In this regard, a wingwoman hurts you for several reasons.  One being that the attention will be focused on the person who broke the ice.  She will be perceived as bold, lively and fun.  The banter will center around her.  The person she’s introducing will be perceived as shy and weak.  She will be fighting to overcome the attention being paid to the wingwoman and will hard pressed to get a word in edgewise.  The men are already sparring over who will get the wingwoman and who will have to take home the “friend”.

You never want to be the friend.  You never want to be second fiddle.  Make sure that you are their only choice.

Don’t know how to approach a guy?  Stay tuned.


4 responses to “Why a wingwoman is a bad idea

  1. Liza

    Hmmm. Good points. Nice example of how women can’t apply the something in the same way as men.

    • ...

      We have a tendency to believe that, as a species, we think in a similar fashion however men process experiences in a drastically different fashion than women do. We can not base our behavior on how we (women) interact with each other – we need to learn how men gather and use information in order to effectively interact with them.

      Of course I’ll be getting to how to communicate with men a bit later on.

  2. Jill ⋅

    I agree 100%! This is so true! This happened to me. My friend offered to open a conversation for me with any guy of my choosing at a bar. After I chose a guy I thought was physically attractive, she initiated the conversation, but because she ended up sitting across from him at the table, I got stuck talking to the guy’s friend, leaving me in an awkward situation. So basically, the guy of my choice ended up interested in her, and several months down the road they dated for a year and a half. I wasn’t bothered that she dated him since I never even had the chance to talk to him in the first place, but I definitely learned my lesson. I will never use that strategy again. It makes absolutely no sense to send an outgoing person to be your representative.

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