While we are waiting for your friends to overcome their trepidation regarding telling you the truth about your not-so-great points, let’s talk about why you want to change. Now we all know that the only acceptable reason to change is for ourselves but are we being truthful?
In manufacturing, we use “The Five Whys Technique” to get to the root cause of a problem. Essentially, you start with the issue and ask why five times to get to the underlying cause. For example:
- I want to lose weight. Why?
- To be skinny. Why?
- To wear cute clothes. Why?
- To attract men. Why?
- Having a boyfriend will make me feel better about myself. Why?
- Having someone love me validates my existence.
As you can see, the results aren’t always pretty but they are usually honest (as honest as you’ll let them be). In the example provided, is the person changing for the right reason? Do you think they’ll succeed?
You try. Five why one of the things you want to change to get to the underlying reason then determine your chance at success. If you’re feeling truly brave, five why all the things you want to change. You may find it illuminating.